Bill Ryan's Other Blog

Tonight, I decided to treat myself and headed to dinner at one of the restaurants across the street from me (there are several awesome restaurants at Perimeter Mall).  I was probably the poorest guy in the place but it’s always cool to head there if for no other reason than seeing all the amazing cars in the parking lot. (Tonight, there were several Lamborghini’s, a Bentley Phantom Ghost and even a Koenigsegg.)

As I left, my little dream world came to an abrupt stop. It was raining and normally I just walk across the street but drove for obvious reasons. After I finished dinner, I decided to head over to the mall and just people watch. The rain looked like it was coming to an  so I stood in the Pavilion waiting for it to stop.There was a big line waiting to get in and I couldn’t help but overhear some of the conversations.  Two 40 something men were dressed in surgery scrubs and were accompanied by two of the hottest women in Atlanta, both of whom were dressed to kill.  I tried not to stare but didn’t do so good at it.  Anyway, in the course of about 2 minutes, my perfect evening went bust and it was so bad, I almost lost all faith in humanity.  I’ll try to summarize what I heard:

1st Doctor:  I’ve been on my feet for 6 hours straight. We almost lost the guy and I can’t believe he turned around.

2nd Doctor: Yah, when I was paged and heard he coded, I really didn’t think we’d be able to pull it off.

A few misc comments continuing same subject

1st Doctor: I finally broke down and bought the Quattroporte. You know I loved the 911 but I got tired of the mid-life crisis jokes (Laughter). I didn’t realize it, but it came with a great nav system. I went out and bought another GPS and found out I didn’t need it.

Hottie 1:  You know, I heard there was an alert from the police department about leaving GPS systems visible. Crack heads are busting into cars just to steal a GPS.  They’re slashing rag tops or busting windows so you may want to make sure you hide that thing.

Hottie 2: Yeah, i head the same thing

Doctor 2:  Well, did you hear about the Gang initiations?

All three say “No”

Doctor 2: “Well, the gangs are doing their initiations.  But these aren’t like the Bloods and the Crips. These are all Mexican and Central American gangs and they’re really blood thirsty. Here’s what I heard.  You’re driving at dawn.  You see a car going the other way and you flash your lights to let the guy know his lights are off.  You flash him right, then they turn around and that’s their sign that they need to shoot you. It’s totally random.  They have to prove themselves by shooting random people. So they’ll follow you home and just open fire.  Down in Texas, there’s a whole bunch of people getting killed.”

Doctor 1: “I heard the same thing.  I damn sure am not going to flash anyone.”

Doctor 2:  “So the other thing is they wait under your car. Literally, they’ll slide in under your car.  They have buddies who work for the mall so they know where all the security cameras are.  They’ll walk in between two cars, then duck down. Then they’ll slide down underneath the car.  And they just sit there.  They figure out a good mark by touching the hood, if it’s hot, you just got there and won’t probably be out for a while. Plus, they’d likely get burned sneaking under the car.  So they feel a cooler hood and that’s the target.  They have these huge blades and when you come over to get in your car, they’ll slash your achille’s heel. They have another member waiting around the nearby and when you fall over, they come up and shank you.  Then they’ll grab your keys and wallet and take off. Now, they target specific places.  They often target Malls and Grocery stores.I heard reports they were frequenting places like the Target SuperStores and stuff like that

Hottie 1:  I don’t think that’s true.  All the Mexicans and GangBangers hang out at Walmart, they’d stick out too much at a Target, ha  ha ha.

Hottie 2:  No kidding. It seems like GangBangers and big fat people who need scooters to get around are the only people at WalMart anymore.

Hottie 1: Maybe it is true, because they could slip in underneat Minivans and Pickup trucks at Walmart.

Doctor 1: Well, if they tried that with Mr (Patient’s name), they had better do it quick b/c if you sat down in the seat, he’d crush anyone under the car, he had to be 450lbs. (Laughter).  Unless the guy is 65lbs, I don’t think he’d be able to squeeze under my car.

Hottie 2: But all the rednecks who drive pickup trucks, they could slip right in, ha ha ha.

Doctor 2:  No, seriously, these guys are just pure blood thirsty.  They’re a few gangs, MS 13 , Mara Salavtra or something like that.  Then there’s the Zetas and a few other.

Hottie 1:  I was a Delta Zeta in UGA and we never had to do anything like that, even when we’re pledging. That sounds more like something the Tri-Delts would do.  (Hystercal Laughter)

Doctor 2: They do one other thing.  So you’re at a red light or whatever right?  They wait until no one is around and they bump you.  Not enough to set off airbags but enough to be notable.  Then, whoever gets out of the car first gets shot.  They shoot you point blank and take off or, one of the other members will toss the victim to the side and just drive off in the car, leaving the victim lying on the street.  They’re doing this to old ladies, handicapped people, etc.  So if you get bumped, make sure you don’t get out of the car first. Wait for them to come up to you.

Doctor 2:  No, this is serious, This MS 13 stuff, I know it’s real. Michelle Malkin has been covering them.  I didn’t hear about the initiations from her, but she’s been writing all about them. They’re all over the place.   They get fake documents and set up shop.  They’re muscling all the traditional gangs out of business so there’s all these wars between the Black Gangs and Central American Gangs.  They’re into everything.  Drug Running.  Weapons running.  Counterfeiting. Extortion.  Smuggling people into the country, after all they already have networks set up to move drugs, so moving people is the natural outgrowth.  They’re buying off cops and judges.  They’re so brazen then even shoot up border guards and stuff.  They’ve killed a bunch of DEA agents. These guys are bad news and of course, Bush isn’t doing sh*t about it.  All that sh*t he talks about securing our country, but he leaves the f***king front door right open.

Doctor 1:  No sh*t? It sounds like they’re the mob.

Doctor 2:  They’ve displaced the mob.  All you need to do is search on MS 13 and you can read all about it.

Doctor 2:  So one thing is that you never flash your lights at someone, especially if you see some lowrider or whatever.  They love their lowriders ha ha ha. But seriously, when you park, make sure you park in light and far away from other cars. That way they can’t hide in between them and crawl underneath the car. And if you see a Video camera, park where it’s pointing b/c they avoid that.

Doctor 1: I already park away from everyone so no one in a big f****king suv swings their door open and smacks my car

———————

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry but at this point, I decided to brave the drizzling rain and head to the mall.  I heard this same crap back in Pittsburgh back in Undergrad and I remember laughing at it then.  Back then there was also so big scare about Satan Worshippers who listened to heavy metal music kidnapping teenage girls with blonde hair and blue eyes.

But these guys were freaking surgeons and from what I can tell, some sort of specialty surgeon at that.  They clearly had brains and a lot of cash, how could they be so stupid?  I just put it out of my mind thinking “they were probably just trying to sound interesting for the chicks.” I’ll never know if they really believed this BS or not, but I had strong reason to believe they did.

During the next few weeks, I heard this same story more times than I can count. I was in Chipotle and someone started this. A bunch of other people joined in even though they didn’t know each other. It was such a juicy story, everyone just became fascinated with it.  And of course, it’s all Bush’s fault.  I’m sure Alex Jones will come on the radio with proof that Prescott Bush secretly financed MS 13 into existence or something

There are a lot of factoids that seem to never die, like how the US is only 5% of the world’s population but uses 35% of the world’s resources (those numbers haven’t changed since I was a kid). This story seems to be similar although the bump addition seems new.

Just for the record, all this stuff about MS 13 (or any other gang’s initiations) is BS.  It was BS back when I was a teenager and it’s BS now.

Don’t take my word for it, Snopes has it covered.  For the record, this story has references as far back as 1992. 

Think about how hard it would be to slip in under most cars.  Then, think about how little room you’d have to swing a blade.  People often wear pants and many people wear boots or high tops. So you sneak under the car, and try to slash a guy’s Achille’s tendon and you just cross your fingers he’s not wearing boots.  And unless he got a 100% clean cut, the person would be mobile.  Who wouldn’t try stomping the SOB when he snuck out from under the car.  Or the headlights story.  This was freaking Atlanta residents believing this.  Turning around to speed after a car assumes that there’s little or no traffic and there’s a handy spot to to pull a U-Turn around.  In Atlanta? WTF Ever. 

About the only true thing in this whole mess is that there is actually a gang called MS 13.  It stands for Mara Salvatrucha (but look as I may, I can’t find out what that means).  Matar in Spanish means Kill which is what I thought they were saying, but no, it’s Mara.  There’s no meaning for either word that I can find so I’m guessing it’s just a proper noun of sorts.  They are brutal and  they do dabble into all sorts of things.  And like the premise of Illicit states, they’re real power is their network and ability to intimidate/coerce.  Once you can move something across borders, you can move all sorts of other things as well. It is also true that Michelle Malkin has covered MS 13 in depth, but I’ve looked pretty hard and not found a single thing indicating that she’s ever fell for any of these stupid rumors (in fact, I’m 100% positive she would call BS on this as soon as she heard it).

Additionally, they are hardly some underground group that no one knows about.  There are many prominent bloggers covering them for one thing.  And well, just look at what Wikipedia says (I know, Wikipedia is hardly the definitive source, but there are plenty of references and they check out)

Their activities have caught the eye of the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) and Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE), who in September 2005 initiated wide-scale raids against suspected gang members, netting 660 arrests across United States.^[2] ICE efforts were at first directed towards MS-13, in its Operation Community Shield. In May 2005, ICE expanded Operation Community Shield to include all transnational organized crime groups and prison gangs. ICE’s Operation Community Shield has since arrested 7,655 street gang members.^[4] In the United States, the gang’s strongholds have historically been in the American Southwest and West Coast states. Membership in the U.S was believed to be as many as about 50,000 as of 2005.^[1] MS-13 criminal activities include drug smuggling and sales, arms trafficking, auto theft, carjacking, home invasion, assault, aggravated assault, assault on law enforcement officials, drive-by shootings, contract killing and murder.^[5]

Even if you never heard this 10 years ago, there’s just something too Urban Legendish about it to really pass the muster. 

[tags]MS 13, Mara Salvatrucha, Michelle Malkin, Central American Street Gangs, Illicit, Snopes, Urban Legends[/tags]

I wish I could just wave a wand and never have to listen to all the BS coming from both sides of the immigration debate. They’re both full of it.

I keep hearing “They broke the law” and at its face, it’s hard to argue with that.  However let’s add some perspective, shall we?  For years now, at least 10 but ostensibly 30 if you go back to when Teddy Kennedy first got involved and changed the rules, we’ve turned a blind eye.  We’ve completely changed the way we handled enforcement.  If you’re from India and Korea, work as an engineer , software developer or doctor and carry a PhD our immigration system is brutal and unsympathetic.  Overstay your visa and you’ll have jack booted thugs agents pounding on your door ready to deport your butt.  On the other hand, if you’re poor, uneducated with no discernable skills, you’ll get treated much more gently.  Some more progressive types will argue this is fair by definition since the first group had resources to defend itself and is in a position to know better.  That’s a whole different can of worms.  But however you slice it, we’ve been turning a blind eye to the latter group for a while.  We’ve increasingly made it easy for them to stay here and when you have one of the nation’s largest banks target marketing ‘illegals’ , you can’t serious tell me enforcement has been anything but a joke.  Agents don’t decide who to police at a micro level, that’s decided by the upper management. That’s decided in large part by politifcal pressure (anger the wrong political group and funding may go by the wayside).

I liken it to the following. Imagine I have a child who uses profanity.  Starting at 5 they came home and dropped F-bombs. So I don’t say anything about it or punish them. Occassionally I say “You know Jimmy, that’s wrong and you shouldn’t do it, but I never punish him.  Or, if I do, I take .50 off of his 30.00 a week allowance. What I mean is, I do something feckless.  12 years later Jimmy is 17 and other than telling other parents “Children shouldn’t use profanity”, I”ve never punished him in any serious way. In fact, I go out of my way to cut profanity out of his emails that his mother might see so that he doesn’t get in trouble from her. 

Imagine I wake up, maybe b/c my neighbors are offended by profanity and start pounding my desk – No More!  You can’t do this!  You must respect my authority and my rules!  And so without warning, I take away his car, ground him from the prom, take away his computer etc.  Would anyone say I was fair?  I certainly have the ‘right’ to do it in technical terms and I certainly am right when I say “what he’s doing is wrong” . But I can’t ignore how I enforced the rule (or failed to).

If I want to have a change, tell Jimmy I should have enforced it and that I was wrong and the like, I have that right and that’s probably the only fair way to change things here.  Moreoever, he’s in the habit of swearing so I need to both give him a date in the future to stop, and gradually increase my enforcement. I can’t fairly use an Off with his head style for the first infraction.

This mimics how I believe we’ve handled the situation with the US Govt being me and illegals being Jimmy. And my example understates the difficulty. Quitting a habit is one thing, but expecting people to pack up and leave a good situation to head back to poverty and oppression ,especially after they may own/rent a house/car , have friends here, have kids in school etc.  Think about it – (and I take no position on this – I just use it as an example), how can we claim we enforced our laws when we have visceral debates about stopping free education at high school AND college , and or financial aid, for illegals. As a policy we give them in-state tuition (again, I take no position on this ) and yet we want to pretend we took enforcement seriously?  That doesn’t compute.

Go to any WalMart in America and you’ll likely find tons of people who don’t speak English (and I”m not talking about South Carolinians either   ).  You’ll see all sorts of Mexican or spanish food specialty items. You’ll see Spanish language periodicals.  There are times and places where you won’t hear any English being spoken. Same for Lowe’s or Home Depot.  If enforcement was a real effort, could this happen? Where things were this out in the open?

Chingo Bling is right about so many things and he’s right about enforcement.  US Citizens have every right to change things if they want. But demonizing illegal immigrants for ‘breaking the law’ is intellectually dishonest from start to finish – it’s little more than sophistry and it’s pathetic.  But hey, it sounds good right?  Maybe the Republicans will learn that the Butt Kicking they got last November is b/c they are fighting the will of their constituents.  Bush is certainly learning that lession. I don’t know who’s going to get the nomination on either side (Bill O’Reilly says it’ll be unquestionably, Hillary and Rudy – Everyone knows that according to him – so I’ll bet against both candidates) but we need to have a real debate about this -not an emotionally hysterical one fueled by BS.

Next time I’m at WalMart and see Chingo or any of the boyz, I’ll have to ask him what he thinks

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