Bill Ryan's Other Blog

Wired.com has an article asking if the the new Windows Phone 7 – Kin Phones can make Microsoft cool again?

Just looking at the features, there’s no doubt the cool factor is there.  While a lot of people have jumped ship, gadget geeks are into the latest greatest stuff and brand loyalty only runs so deep.  As long as these things perform, I’d ask the answer is to the question is a resounding “Yes”

Originally posted at http://www.msmvps.com/WilliamRyan

[tags]Windows Mobile Phone, Windows Phone 7, Kin, Microsoft Kin[/tags]

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Being the optimistic fellow I am, having a great week is nothing unusual.  Last week was so amazingly good I thought it would be ages before I had another one that good.  Then Monday came around and things have just kept getting better.  I didn’t think anything could top yesterday, and well, today somehow managed to do so. 

In the course of 24 hours, every sucky thing in my life went away (ok, not totally away, but away enough for my taste – Metaphorically, I’d liken it to getting cured of Ebola, except Ebola is nowhere near as fugly, dresses better and is infinitely more pleasant to be stuck with).

I’m back to being able to focus on value added activities now which among other things involves the launch of my entrepreneurial dream – Privicy.net (it’s just the default MS landing page now but the beta will be up in two weeks). I’ve already managed to learn more about .NET 4.0 and WCF than I could ever want but this has forced me to learn a lot of things I always avoided, like front end work.  One of the coolest things I’ve got to work with is OpenID. I’ve also been able to work with Andriod development quite a bit which was getting really cool – until the Windows Mobile 7 SDK was announced.  I guess now it’s bye bye Java and hello Silverlight. 

I’ve already received a ton of interest over Privicy and I need to have it done by May 2, 2010 or I’ll lose out on a good bit of money.  I’m going to try to , where possible, post some of the cooler stuff that I came across while developing the site.

Anyway, I’m back and have a lot of content ready to go – I’m going to brave the Upgrade to WordPress 2.9.2 and get at it.  Considering my luck with WordPress Upgrades, I need to do it this week while life is smiling so favorably upon me

Earlier today, I was lamenting the fact I’ve worked so hard to persuade my wife and daughter to share my love of gadgetry.  From early on I knew Sarah had the bug, but Kim seemed to be immune from it.  Gift after gift was received with a requisite “Thank You” only to never be opened.  Until earlier this year, Kim maintained the mantra of obnoxious luddites “I want a phone to call people with. I don’t want to take pictures with it. I don’t need it to be a video camera. I don’t need to surf the internet on it”. 

Part of my encouragement was less than noble. Sure, I like spoiling my family  and I honestly enjoying giving much more than receiving.  But part of it with Kim was embarrassment.  I’ve been a Microsoft MVP since 2002 and spent most of the time in Device Application Development. I’ve given countless talks on mobile device programming, help run a device focused web site and am affiliated with several other device sites.  Yet my wife was sporting around a phone that looked like I couldn’t land a job.  I bought her phone after phone and each time she’d just revert back to her old one as soon as she could.  I decided to up my game and started buying the really expensive stuff, figuring she’d be unable to resist.  Few things are more disappointing than dropping $900.00 on a gift phone for your wife and having her say “I don’t like it” followed by “It’s really sweet that you did that, but the phone sucks.”  An iMate sucks? Are you kidding me?

That started to change when I got my iPhone.  Even though she uses a Zune, she thought it’d be cool to not have to carry multiple gadgets.  (This was the first sign of a breakthrough).  She started asking more questions  and I could tell she was slightly interested in an iPhone.  Then one fateful morning, driving away from East Court Street on my way home after work, the iPhone met its fate.  Like many other cool phones, I left it on the roof of my car as I sped safely and slowly drove off.

My iPhone died a brutal death right outside of Deveraux’s.  By that time, iPhones had been around.  They’d been around long enough that I knew I didn’t want to have another douchegag hipster tell me how they liked my phone (and no, I’m not insulting all iPhone users or even most – just saying that they are the preferred phone of Hipsters and Hipsters suck).  The Android had just come out and I was very interested in it.  Besides, I’ve lived 37 years of always having the coolest/newest gadgetry out, why would I stop now.  I bought an Android and immediately Kim seemed interested. I asked her which she’d rather have “if” someone was going to get her one.  In classic Kim form, she said “I don’t know, I like them both.”  “Help me out here sweetie, do you think you might like one over the other”.  “Well, I like the iPhone b/c it looks really sleek” Ok, an iPhone it is.  “But no one really has an Andriod and the Google apps are really cool.”  Three weeks later we were no farther along than where we started.  I said screw it, went to T-Mobile, bought her a White Android and the rest is history.  And yes, I created a Technology Frankenstein monster out of her, and Sarah is not far behind.  I spent every day thereafter regretting it b/c Kim is a junkie.

After the Windows Mobile Race, I knew the Prize Phone would be something cool. I wasn’t sure how cool.  Today I found out.  I came home and several Fedex and UPS packages were waiting for me.  Many were Christmas gifts but a few were for me. Including one that contained this:

Andrea sent me an email yesterday asking for my shipping address.  I guess I didn’t pick up the fact she said “Get it to me as quickly as possible”.  Little did I know she was Fedexing the prize. And little did I know it was a Tilt2.

Just earlier today, I was talking about T-Mobile’ calling me up enticing me to take a Free Blackberry. And I mentioned that I’m weak, and not having the best phone around for over a month now was driving me nuts. And that I would own a Motorola Cliq if I went over to the T-Mobile Store.  And blah blah blah.

M.C. Cuckooette (aka Sarah) has also caught the bug as I mentioned. In fact, I have high hopes for her.  She got her first phone not too long ago and quickly started to outgrow it.  When she heard I had a new phone coming, I could see her immediately recognize and opportunity.  “What are you going to do with your Android?  B/c, umm, if you wanted, I know someone who would take it from you.”  Oh yah , I wonder who that could be.  “Yah, and that person would be ME.”  I’ve felt terribly guilty for getting her a starter phone from the onset.  She likes the phone she has but I knew it was mainly b/c she hasn’t seen much in that way so her expectations were low.  At first she was just glad to be able to talk to her friends whenever she wanted to.  And be able to text us and her friends.  But little by little, I’ve seen the desire burning. Each time I watch a YouTube video – I can see the desire in her eyes.

Well, she doesn’t have to use an Android just to watch YouTube and the like on a mobile device.  But the Android is pretty darned good at it.  And she’s my princess and well, i”m not inclined to give her handmedowns – it’s easier to just buy her what she wants in the first place.  But it looks like one way or the other, Sarah’s days of not being able to watch YouTube on demand are meeting the same fate as my shame for not using a Windows Mobile Device.

Andrea, if I didn’t say it already – you are the best and so is Ed.  I’d also like to thank  Bali Kelal, Mel Sampat and Loke Uei Tan for putting on the Windows Mobile Race

[tags]Windows Mobile 6.5, HTC Tilt, HTC Tilt 2, Smartphone, Google Andriod, Windows Mobile Race, AT & T, Motorola Cliq[/tags]

The new Cuckoo 1 was delivered last night and Kim and I headed over to pick it up.  The Cuckooette was very enthused by this particular model but didn’t accompany us b/c she was at a sleep over with one of her very cool friends.  (So tonight, she and I will be driving around minus Kim, doing what people do in cars that like to go really fast).  The process was quick and painless and within an hour – we were off:

I wanted a sports car and so did the Cuckooette. Kim wanted anything but a sports car.  My mother seldom inserts herself into family decisions but when she saw the 370z I was originally looking at, she said the following:

Do me a favor would you?  On your way to pick it up, can you stop by the store and buy a really big butcher knife, then stop by and plunge it into my heart.  B/c that’s what buying that stupid car will do to me anyway, but at least it’ll be quick and painless

Mom isn’t above throwing out a bitchin guilt trip here and there when it comes to something she views as life-death. And she was pretty convinced that the 370z would be a continuation of the last Cuckoo 1, and that I’d inevitably get myself killed. Kim’s sentiment was pretty much the same, although she was a little more clever about hiding it

You’re a few years away from being 40, you’re married, with a wife and daughter that need you.  2 Seat cars are for non-married men, or inconsiderate men, and you’re neither.  So you can get whatever car you want, as long as it’s not a 2 seater and as long as it’s not some ridiculous sports car. And yes, a RX-8 is off the list of acceptable vehicles

Then one day, my wife called and said she found the perfect car for me, it was an Infinit G something or other.  I thought, God not only answers prayers, he’s quick to hook a brotha like me up.  My swagga already included:

• Da Dough
• Da Paypah
• Da Hoes (Kim, dear, if you’re reading this and I hope you’re not, I only pluralized Hoes for grammatical consistency, and don’t believe what all those people tell you, Ho is an abbreviated form of ‘Honey’, honest)
• Da Gats (Da feds ain’t the only ones that can Pimp Sigs and Glocks, I pimp a Sig P250 and a Glock 23 and trying to figure out how the hell I can mack around a H&K MP5 like evil movie villains do)
• Da threads (who other than OJ has more Bruno Magli’s then me. Who other than has more Ferragamo’s then me? If Imelda Marcos was a silly fuzzy teddy bear with a touch of gangsta swagga, her name would be Bill)

So now I can add

• Da Whips – as of November 24.  You simply can’t pimp in a Malibu. Period.

You see, for all of her objecting, Kim called one day and had the ‘Perfect’ car for me.  She was pulling up next to it and would let me know what it was.  ‘Oh, it’s a Porsche Cayman, never mind’.  What a bummer that was. So I was bumming, thinking I was about to head straight into dorkville for a while (at least they weren’t demanding a Minivan. So no matter how lame it was, I could at least still have my manhood.  Yes, there’s no such thing as a man that drives a minivan – that’s right.  In fact, if you’ve ever even thought about driving a minivan, then you get kicked out of the club)

A few days later I got the same call, but this time she said “It’s an Infiniti something or other”

Me:  “You mean, the G35 or G37? “

Kim:  “I think so but I’m not sure, its really cool though, I know you’d like it”

Me:  “2 doors?”

Kim:  “Yes, its sporty but looked mature and professional not like something some teenaged hotrodder would drive around. HINT HINT HINT”

Me: “So I can get one?”

Kim: “If you like it and want one, yes, I think that’d be ok.”

Me: “Will you tell my mom that you approve so I can get her off my back?”
Kim: “Well, yes.  Like I said, it looks refined, it’s not a hotrod but it’s still sport”

Me: [Thinking to myself – Will I burn in hell for not pointing out to her that this is the same damned car she and my mom hate, but with 4 seats?  Maybe I should tell her. No, that would be patronizing. She’s a big girl and a hell of a lot smarter than me. She knows what she approves of or not. I don’t need to say a damned word about it mwuahahahahahahahahaha. Behold my Patrick Duffy Leg dammit!”

Me: “Can we go look at them tonight”

Kim: “Well I look for some online but yes, we need to get this taken care of”

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Three days later I was driving home in it.  I wanted to hurry up and buy the thing before she realized it was just a  4 seated version of the 370 because I was renting a car and the period that the insurance company covered it had just run out. So I didn’t check it out very much.  I knew I’d like it so if she was cool with it, I’d be cool with it too.  Upon getting it though – I realized how unbelievably high tech it is.  And I was fully intent on adding to the list.  There’s a little more cabin space and a ton more dashboard space than the previous Cuckoo1 so my dreams could be realized. The following is being as we speak or tonight:

1. Kyocera KR1 – Mobile Travel Router
2. T-Mobile webConnect ™ usb 3G Travel Router
3. Vehicular AC Power Supply
4. Gateway Netbook (and yes little Cuckooette, unless you change your mind and want to go on another super trip to Hollister, I’m sure CuckooClaus will have one of these for you)
5. U2500 Vehicle Laptop Stand

So when Kim and I drive to Fripp Island tomorrow to see Mom and the family, Kim will be able to surf the net in 3G, on a Netbook instead of her Android. Since the Netbook has Windows 7 instead of Vista, it’ll actually be a good experience for her).

But the picture is bigger than this.  We’ve got a few extra notebooks at the house and some tablets too.  The back seats are really small and fitted specifically for function as opposed to space.  The router and webConnect™ enables the car to be a Wi-Fi hotspot and if I understood correctly a full T-Mobile hotspot as well.  Between now and Christmas, the Cuckooette and Kim along with anyone else we may be taking with us can surf the net in relative comfort while driving around town or on trips.  Sure, longer trips may have some down spots but on the whole, the trips we usually take have solid connectivity for most of it.  The Cuckooette's finally coming of age and I’m sure would jump on an opportunity to shed her DS in favor of browsing YouTube with her cumpys.

Two more Zune HD’s have been requested for the remaining members of the household (in the interim, they’ll have to suffer through using their current Zune’s, or borrowing my Zune HD) which can be used to surf the net while driving as well.

At the end of the day, watching YouTube clips is no more value added than watching Hannah Montana or whatever else but I feel  a lot cooler/better about having computer access for the wife and daughter than DVD or movie access. Maybe that’s just my mind trying to rationalize buying more computers and more gadgets but since I’m not the one who’ll be using the stuff primarily (not the computers anyway), I think I can still try to pass off the altruism routine, right?

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If you’re interested in vehicle computer systems, the best place to start is probably Geek My Ride. The book provides several links to a companion site and enthusiast sites as well as vendors who sell the various components.  There is also a lot of other coolness you’ll find in the book (I mean, what’s cooler than a computer geek who drives a RX-8, and a black one no less. Not sure but I know that a computer geek that drives a techhed out G35 has to be right up there). And if you want to check the book out before buying it, It’s available on Google Books.

There are several computers specifically made for cars, most of which are just the case and stuff inside.  Depending on your car and what you’re trying to accomplish, this may or may not be desirable.  Netbooks are so cheap now though – that I highly recommend them for such projects(just make sure you install Windows 7 instead of Vista). You can get Netbooks in all shapes and sizes so from small to large, you’re covered.  What’s more, you don’t have to deal with having a monitor and a computer (although you’ll probably have to work out some sort of fastener for the Netbook including a seatbelt equivalent – unless of course you don’t mind leaving heavy projectiles sitting around your car).  There’s a lot of simplicity here and consider this – I’m about as unskilled when it comes to drilling and installing stuff as a man can be yet I pulled it off without a glitch – I promise you, you can too. Think about this too – what are Netbooks targeted to do?  Browse the web, check email and light editing of office documents (You don’t want to write multiple best selling computer books on a Netbook unless you get yourself a much better keyboard).  That’s exactly the sorts of things you’d primarily due as a passenger in a car – or need in a pinch when you’re driving.  So b/c of price, weight, battery life etc, a Netbook is probably a great choice.

If you’re on a low budget, you can do away with some of this stuff too.

You can do away with the Notebook mount for one thing.  You could build your own or get a small lap based laptop desk. You can also do away with the router. If you don’t have two lovely ladies driving around with you that you want to keep entertained, then you can just Roll Fo Dolo and skip the router.  Save roughly $150.00 on the project

If you don’t need/want to power multiple machines you can do away with the power supply (although you still want a surge protector) as well.  I always have devices that need powered (and now that my wife turned into an Android junkie, she does too) so I got a power supply that could charge multiple items at once. My thinking is that with multiple people actively surfing, I was pretty sure battery life would die more quickly. Save roughly $100.00 on the project

Or you could be completely lame and just skip the internet connection, but I can’t think of much fun in that case. Save roughly $50.00 on the project up front, and then monthly costs of the plan

I’m going to ask Kim to post a review of the experience after we get home this weekend.  The Cuckooette will likely want to provide a review of her experience as well – with a little luck I may be able to provide that this evening. Sure, I’m going to write about how cool the stuff is, b/c I’m a gadget geek and I went through all the trouble of setting it up (which honestly, wasn’t much trouble at all – I was shocked at how easy it was). However the end users (Kim and the Cuckooette and maybe some of her friends once they’ve had a chance to see it in action) are going to be less tolerant of things that don’t go well and will have a different perspective altogether.  I think their reviews will be particularly insightful.

[tags] Geek my ride, Car Computing, Mobile Computing, Android, T-Mobile Hot Spot, Netbook, Kyocera KR1, Mobile Router, Gateway Netbook, Netbook, Bill Ryan, Kim Ryan, Cuckooette, Windows 7, Windows 7 vs Vista, Infiniti G37 [/tags]

You’ll find the definition says "Chris Tacke and everyone else at OpenNetCF”.  I consider myself a pretty creative guy and am more than willing to step out of the traditional bounds of doing things when they don’t fit my needs.  If a tool doesn’t work, I’m more than willing to toss it out and either build my own or find something else that does work… Most of the time anyway.

Unit tests are an interesting issue.  People are often complete dumbasses really passionate about it one way or the other.  There are many (typically developers who hate writing code and love the thought of having Manager on their business cards) who completely disavow the utility of unit testing. Advocates on the other hand usually evolve into zealots and can’t imagine coding without unit tests.  Personally, I had a little trouble getting my head around unit testing at first (well, using mocks specifically) but quickly became a true believer (although I don’t get all butthurt get bothered if I see someone else writing code without having written the test for it first).  At first I pretty much stuck to only unit testing stuff I got paid for.  Then little by little, I started doing it in personal projects.  The CuckooBot, StripperBot and the bot who’s name can not be used in public would never have been the successes they were had I not made such liberal use of unit testing.  Actually that’s not totally true – I should say I started doing it for most of my personal projects.  Because when I’m doing Smart Device Programming – I avoid it like the plague.

Why?  I’ll let someone a lot smarter and much more eloquent than myself answer that.

And while your reading up on things, I encourage you to take a look at Project Resistance and the IoC Framework as well. 

Chris links to it in his post but I’d like to draw attention to it as well.  This is the official solution to the problem according to Microsoft.  I realize everyone is very busy with important stuff like Silverlight and Windows Mobile 7, but if you’re going to publish a solution that inadequate, it’s probably better to just publish nothing at all. To me, this would be like a car company finding out Model X had a problem that kept it from starting up when it got below X degrees or above Y degrees and offering the following solution:

1. Wake up 20 minutes earlier than you normally do on work days.
2. Get dressed and eat breakfast 20 minutes earlier as well
3. Put on some comfortable shoes and walk to work

I understand it’s very easy to be a critic and no one on the Windows Mobile team is dumb, lazy, apathetic or uncaring (they are all exactly the opposite), especially when it comes to things that inconvenience end users.  But the proposed solution is so bad you have to wonder if it wasn’t just ‘thrown out there” so someone could check it off of a TODO list or something

I didn’t want to do it, but b/c of all the translation questions, I’m going to go ahead and give you the English version.  The version are slightly different though but not on anything substantial.  I started writing the whole Chupa-Cabron series back as early as 1995 after finding out about the Chupa Cabra on an X-Files episode. I was always kinda fascinated by it – mainly b/c the pictures are so funny looking.  Anyway, I hadn’t thought much about it for a few years until I heard about a Chupa siting on Coast To Coast AM last week.  I had the English version of the 1st story on a old usb drive sitting in the garage (it’s a whopping 40gb & really expensive when I bought it - that’s how old the thing is) which is what I’m providing below.  The subsequent chapters are 100% in Spanglish (BTW, If you don’t believe me about how inadequate most translation services are, look at the translation below and compare it to Google or Babelfish). Also, it’s not hard to see that there’s a lot of inside jokes here.  I’ll just cut to the chase on those  – If we were friends back in Miami/Grad school and you think the joke is about you/us – it is.  Otherwise, it isn’t.  And no, I’m not making fun of Mexicans here – I’m ridiculing a well-known Miami phenomenon wherein members of different Latin American countries condescend to each other and it just so happens, Mexicans catch the most of it.  Don’t blame me – I’m a gringo.

Without further ado…. I introduce The ChubaCabron!

Part 1 – Juan Carlos meets the MS13  Beaners
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Juan Carlos, the ChupaCabra got fed up with Hialeah and moved up to Greenville, SC to hang out with his long lost cumpe and biggest supporter, Bill.  For the 4th time since Bill moved away, Miami-Dade 5.0 arrested Juan Carlos and put his illegal looking a55 in gave him tickets to the  Krome Avenue Detention Center Ritz Carlton. Why, Juan Carlos thought, did Bill have to move away and ruin everything? Why couldn’t things be like they were back when Bill lived here?  “I used to spend many weekends at Bill’s crib, now the raaaaacist cops are stuffing me in the Krome Ritz and Dr. B doesn’t even work there any more to help a brotha out”, he thought. 

It’s very hard for a Chupacabra to be taken seriously by Gringos but Bill was above such biases. Not only that, he was one of the few people that actually enjoyed hanging out with ChupaCabras.  Unlike your standard run of the mill Chupa, Juan Carlos , had it really rough, even when in the company of other Chupacabras.  You see, the Chupacabra community is very traditional and having children out of wedlock is frowned upon.  Sadly, the children are often the ones treated the worst in such situations and that’s exactly what happened here with Juan Carlos.
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Bill’s ho esposa Genevive was a sweetheart but a little uncomfortable with Juan Carlos’ presence. Juan Carlos attributed it to her nationality – “damn Columbians can’t help but snobbin a Cuban playboy like yourz truly”.  They had 3 dogs in the house and she was scared that Juan Carlos would end up Chupa-ing one of the dogs, plus he was Cuban.  The dogs were terrified of him and even though he was a devout dog lover, it made no difference.  He spent all morning trying to convince the dogs he wasn’t going to hurt them.  “Chupa-CABRA!  CABRA!  CABRA.  I’m a ChupaCABRA – not a ChupaPERRO so you all need to chill out. Ok, Ok, what if I let y’all sh*t all over the rug and chew up a few pairs of Bill’s Bruno Magli’s.”  Juan Carlos thought “Bill’s my homeboy, but I gotta chill these dawgs out and dude has more Magli’s and Ferragamos than Imelda Marcos. Besides, Bill never stays mad for more than 20 minutes, so he’ll chill out“.  Juan Carlos went in Bill’s shoe closet and grabbed a few pairs of shoes. He tossed them to the dogs and said “Ok you guys, this sh*t is fine italian leather not no payless crap, so yall need to chill out, cut me some slack and be cool.”  He was going to throw the dogs some of Bill’s shoes for old times’ sake but decided against it.  And finally the dogs did exactly what he said.  Grateful, Juan Carlos headed off to Walmart to get the dogs some bones and some new leashes.  He hoped to find a store in Greenville that sold Bruno Magli loafers too…
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He always went to Walmartback in Hialeah and would stop at the Pollo Tropical on the way over.  He was searching high and low for one to no avail.  Standing outside of Walmart were some MS 13 members. This was peculiar b/c they used to hang out INSIDE WalMart.  He asked one of the clerks about it and the clerk said “Yah, they used to be in here but they got kicked out. Members of   La Familia moved in and took over there offices and everything.  Apparently La Familia found out how to use Leveraged Buyouts to their advantage and thanks to Junk Bonds, they were able to raise enough capital to buy the MS 13 office inside of WalMart.�
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As Juan Carlos walked by them, one of them said “Look, it’s the ChupaCabron.  Wuzzup ChupaCABRON!  Hey, Jose, Say ‘Bronca’ over and over”  Jose said it’ BRONCABRONCABRONCABRONCABRONCABRONCA” and they all started laughing.  Juan Carlos was really mad and as mentioned earlier, jokes about his legitimacy really pissed him off. As the gang members kept making Cabron jokes he said “You’ll pardon me for not laughing, I’m Cuban after all and I find Beaner Humor really lame.  You beaners really laugh at anything where us Cubans are much more sophsiticated.  “  The MS 13 member Jose said “You got a real wise mouth- you’re lucky La Familia Michoacana is running stuff now or you’d be dead”.  Juan Carlos  said “Yah, I bet, and I’m terrified.  I mean, a 5’1 BEANER that smells like a combination of feet and ass is scary. But what’s really scary is the same beaner wearing an old Michael Bolton T-Shirt with Grass Stains. What’s up with your Look? You look like that dude from the Rico Suave video, but dirtier.  Didn’t they have anything less, uhhh, Gay at the Salvation Army?  If I give you $5.00 in lottery tickets, will you say Riiiiiccccooo Suaaavvveeee for me like that Gerardo dude sang? By the way, I need my grass cut, can you stop by and cut it and have your mom clean my toilets.”  Jose said “you got a real smart mouth for a ChupaCabron.  A Cabron and a Commamierda all at once? Sucks to be you.” 

Juan Carlos  replied, “You know, that puta de mierda mom of yours wasn’t minding me being a CommaMierda while she was Chupa-ing my cojones last night.  Your standard issue puta sister didn’t mind either and your deluxe puta wife, she loved it.  I guess you beaners have such small Pinga’s that getting a Cuban Sausage put them over the edge.” Jose said “My mom’s a puta? At least I have a mom, how about that Cabron?”   Afterward he said “Well, Riiiccccooo, a Cabron isn’t someone without a mom, it’s someone without a dad, if you were born in a 1st world country, you’d know that.  Besdies, Don’t you beaners have anything better to do than follow people around the Walmart parking lot? And what’s up with your look? I should call the cops on you. Hey there’s on.  Hey, Mister, Officer, come here, there’s illegal Beaners hassling customers” 

The officer came over but sadly, there was a big surprise… The officer was a Pre-Op Transexual.  So no one could tell if it was a He becoming a She, or a She becoming a He.  She said “You called me Mister?  You got a really smart mouth on you boy”  The MS 13  members said “Yah, he sure does”. She said “You need to watch your mouth, unles you’re looking for trouble”.  Juan Carlos  said “How can I look at my mouth without a mirror, and no, I don’t know ANYONE named ‘Trouble’”  So she said “All of you , get out of here - La Familia runs this joint now – they have an office inside and they OWN this parking lot too. So you, the ChupaCabra and you guys, the Michael Bolton/Gerrardo wannabe, Beat it already ok?”
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Juan Carlos  asked “Wait a second, you’re a dude who’s 1/2 way to becomming a chick or the other way around and you’re busting my balls for getting it wrong?  I don’t need some Barney Fife looking cop telling me what to do”.  At that, the officer said “I’m not a barney fife type cop, I’m the real deal.  I just attended da Police Academy training, have you?  I thought so. And you think you’re hot sh*t because you live with that CommaMierda  Bill, well just because he has  a Top Secret clearance doesn’t mean he’s anything, just because he can sit around and look people up in the NCIC database, whoopdidooo, that’s gay, and not gay like me but gay gay. And true to form, his gay self gays around town in his stupid Faguar  Just because his wife is hotttt and has a real college degree, that doesn’t mean anything either. And just because he has written a bunch of stupid books, went to grad school - he must have been at home with all those thugs and criminals at Miami , earned every honor you can earn in his profession , it means nothing.  He’s a worm, worse, he’s a book worm, AND a Math Geek. He plays Beavis and Butthead’s virtual stupidity all day but calls World of Warcraft afficianados Loosers?  You tell Bill this, I got his Looser right here (pointing to his/her a55), if he was here now, I’d looser the hot steamy remnants of my bowels on his chest.  Let’s see how tough he sounds with a Cleveland Steamer under his chin!”

Juan Carlos thought “What’s a LOOSER?  There’s only one ‘o’ in loser isn’t there?  What a crazy bitch.  Someone didn’t get enough affection as a kid or something but this chick is crazy”.  He wanted to chill her out so he said “Listen, Bill is a great friend and the only person to believe in me since i got here, but I’m sure you have a much bigger Pinga then he does”.  At which point the officer beamed with pride.  She said “Really, cuz you live with him so you’d know. I always heard he was hung like a  horse”. Juan Carlos seeing the change in her demeanor said “Oh yah, much much bigger, he packs his pants with a sock so don’t worry about it.”  At that point, Officer TripleFea said”Well, let me at least give you a ride home buddy”. So Juan Carlos got in the car, she drove him home ,and everyone was happy – But Serious trouble loomed around the corner, trouble that neither Juan Carlos, his friend Bill or Bill’s wife Genevive could ever imagine.
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Stay tuned for Part 2 of this Saga – Interview with the Chupa Cabron

[tags] ChupaCabra, Chupa-Cabron, ChupaCabron, Wal-Mart, MS13, MS-13, La familia, Chingo Bling, Immigration Reform, Krome Avenue Detention Center, Bill Ryan, William Ryan  [/tags]

The Windows Mobile Race is sinking in on me.  I’m getting into Seattle tomorrow evening at 11:35.  We board the train the following morning at 9:30 and stay on the train through the whole contest.

• Latest Phil Hendrie Show Podcasts downloaded – CHeck
• Zune Synced – Check
• Netbook Packed – Check
• Developer Laptop Packed – Check
• Flip HD Camera Packed – Check

They’re encouraging us to LiveBlog and Tweet the event so I will do my best.  Well, maybe not the part about getting faded off my a55 once I get to LA and kick it with my Big-Big Brother Marcus.  Can’t wait!  And maybe I can slip down South O Da Border and get extra faded at the Wal Mart with my homie Chingo Bling

Yes, another post about the Windows Mobile Race…  Just a FYI, the media is going to be on the train with us for the duration of the event.  There will be live coverage of the event including people Tweeting/Facebooking etc.  I’m not sure how ‘connected’ i’m allowed to be as a participant – I’m guessing it’s either going to be “Use anything you want in getting a solution” or “You can’t use anything other than you and your team’s collective brains”  I’ll know more shortly.

You can follow me on Twitter by using http://www.williamgryan.com/WGRyan. There’s a link to my facebook page in the sidebar if you’re so inclined.

[tags] Windows Mobile, SmartPhone, Windows Mobile Race, Windows Mobile 7, Twitter,  Bill Ryan, William Ryan  [/tags]

I recently posted a link about an invite I got regarding Jim Stein’s new book, The Right Decision.  There was a contest regarding one of the topics covered in the book and it looks like I won.

I haven’t read the book yet but I already know I’ll love it.  I can’t wait for it to get here.  I’ll be doing a LOT of travelling the next few weeks and that’s when I get a lot of power reading done.  If you have any other suggestions for cool books – i’m game (non-fiction.  Unless the fiction stuff is just that awesome).

The Windows Mobile Race folks got back to me last night and I’m definitely in.  So I’ll be heading to Seattle on Friday and I’ll be back in Greenville Monday. I hope we’re as lucky at this contest as I was with The Right Decision – wish me luck!

I got this invite yesterday but for some reason didn’t read it until now. I’m honored to be asked to participate and from previous experience, this is going to be awesome.  I was 9 when I entered my first computer contest with my buddy Herbie and we got schooled, but it was a great time.  Seattle is about as close as you can get to heaven on Earth – so even if I won’t be there all that long, any excuse to go there works for me.  And yes, I will be stopping by Nibbana, one of the finest Thai Restaurants I’ve ever been too.

Congratulations!
You have been invited to participate in the “Windows Mobile Race”. The most exciting Windows Mobile Developer contest ever brought to you by AT&T wireless and the Windows Mobile developer team at Microsoft.

What is the Windows Mobile Race?
It is a developer contest on wheels, basically 4 teams will compete to develop an Eco friendly / Green Windows Mobile Application while they are travelling from Seattle to Los Angeles – By Train!

Who are the teams?
There are two student developer teams, a professional developer team and the fourth is a team from the Windows Mobile product division at Microsoft.

When is the race taking place? How much of a time commitment is this?
The teams will board the Los Angeles bound train from Seattle at 9:45am on Saturday, the 14th of November and will reach Los Angeles in the late evening on Sunday, the 15th of November. It’s only  a two day event.

Who pays for all this exciting stuff?
We will pay for all the expenses associated to bringing you to the start venue of the race, the train ride and then sending you home from the end point of the race.

The theme of the race:
The Windows Mobile race is focused on developing an Eco-friendly Green Windows Mobile App.
All additional details and pre-event preparation guidance will be sent to you next week.

Judging:
The contest will be judged by a panel of judges who will be present on the train. The judges have been drawn from Microsoft and AT&T Wireless. The winner will be announced upon arrival in Los Angeles.

Live Streaming, Tweeting & Video Series:
The race will be streamed live on the internet for people to watch and socially participate. We will also publish ongoing coverage of the race on Twitter.
Subsequently the video footage from the race will also be developed into a video series that will be available on the Windows Mobile website and other related web properties.

[tags] Windows Mobile, Windows Mobile 7, Windows Smartphone, Windows Mobile Race, Mobile Device Development, Computer Programming, Microsoft, AT & T, Bill Ryan, William Ryan  [/tags]