Bill Ryan's Other Blog

The holidays bring a lot of people out into the open. Things get crowded, lines get long, parking spaces disappear.  It’s a time we’re supposed to be celebrating and instead, it often brings out the worst of people.

Earlier today, Sarah, Kim and I headed over to Sam’s Club.  We’re Costco people but Kim got a Sam’s card from work and we decided to see what it was like.  Once inside Sam’s, things were nice and there’s no complaints.  But outside Sam’s, forget about it. 

I’ll cut to the chase, few things are more annoying than self-important a****** who don’t return their shopping carts.  In the extreme, it takes all of about 30 seconds at most for a round trip to return a shopping cart to one of the designated areas.  Stores long ago gave up on counting on people to have enough class to walk them back to the stores, so they have all sorts of drop off spots throughout the parking lots. (And for the record, I’m not calling elderly or handicapped people who don’t return carts “classless”, I’m referring exclusively to able bodied people.  And yes, I’m calling every last one of them classless).  It’s bad enough these days keeping people from opening their doors and smacking into yours with them, but finding a shopping cart embedded in your car is infuriating. 

At Sam’s, there were shopping carts everywhere.  On just about every island in the lot, people had jammed shopping carts all over them.. At least the people that left them there had enough decency to stop them from banging into other people’s cars.  But there were easily 30 carts sitting around in the parking lot, a few of which were moving. 

I’ve heard some pretty amazing excuses for not returning carts.  The lamest of them is that it isn’t ‘cool’.  If your coolness depends on not returning shopping carts, you’re not cool.  In fact, there’s probably no better way to say ‘I’m a worldclass douchebag’ than not returning your cart ‘because it’s not cool.’  Then there’s the “I don’t have time.”  Ok, fine.  If someone rammed a shopping cart into your car b/c they were in a hurry, I can assume you’d be fine with that right?  Oh, you wouldn’t?   (Let’s face it, it’s precisely the a******les that do stuff like this that are the first to complain and the loudest complainers when they fall victim to such bullsh**).  Then there’s the old classic “They should hire someone to do it.”  Yep, b/c you’re sooo self-important you can’t spare 30 freaking seconds, everyone else should have to subsidize your bullsh***.  I also really like the  “Well, someone else will get it so why should I?”  I can’t believe there are people with such low self-esteem as to make such a self-debasing comment, but apparently there are.  The last one is “I normally return my carts, but I’m in a hurry, this time it won’t hurt.”  If this is true and it’s a once in ages type thing, then fair enough. I’m not going to say you have no class.  But I will say you’re being an ass, especially if you don’t see to it that the cart doesn’t hit someone else’s car.

I hear pretty much the same sh*t when it comes to people littering.  It’s pathetic and a sign of NO CLASS.  I’m willing to bet that you show me someone who leaves shopping carts around or litters on a regular basis, and I can show you someone who has poor manners and a lack of class in most other areas of their lives.  I get it that many people have never worked for anything substantive in their lives. I get it that they see other people with nicer stuff and seethe.  And I get it that some people think they matter so much more than everyone else so they shouldn’t have to play by the same rules of common decency as everyone else. I also get that they are all ass*****.  I’m sure these people would be just fine with someone coming over to their house, taking a bunch of stuff out where it could be damaged/destroyed or damage something else and not putting it away. I’m sure these people would be fine with coming out one morning, finding a nice big dent in their car without a trace of information on who did it.

There’s a bright side to this story.  As we were about to leave, we unloaded the cart into the trunk of my car.  As I went to return the cart, my daughter said “I’ll take it.”  I told her “It’s cool honey, but it’s cold out, I’ll run it back.”  And she said “No, please, i want to.”  As she did, we were moving some stuff around in the front of the car.  I happened to glance back to see where Sarah was and I noticed that she had grabbed some carts that were just blowing around.  She didn’t want them to hit anyone’s cars so went out of her way to return them. Sarah is never at a loss to make me proud of her, but this really made me smile.  Not only did she go out of her way to take the extra carts back, but she did it so someone she has never met and doesn’t know, wouldn’t have their car damaged the carts.

I’m quite confident my readership is way too classy to be one of the people I speak of, but I get a lot of stragglers these days and some of them might take issue with what I’ve said.  Well, it’s not just me:

• You would not believe a shopping cart could leave so much damage
• On the Laziness of Shopping Carts in East Idaho
• Lazy Shopping Carts
• Please Return Your Shopping Carts
• Someone’s Shopping Cart Hit My Car
• I put my shopping cart away… why don’t you
• Missing Shopping Carts Raise Prices for Everyone
• Hit by a shopping cart in the U district
• Quit being lazy, put back your shopping cart

Oh crap, I just ‘compiled’ links which is like, really bad or something (apparently to some, copying the first few links on a Google Search equals “Compiling’ and that’s really really bad – Hurr Durr).  But read through those.  This was just a sample that I grabbed in about 30 seconds.  Look for yourself.  Look at how many people have insurance claims b/c some ASS***** didn’t return their cart which in turned, damaged their car.  You really think it’s cool to have your irresponsibility damage someone else’s property? You really think you’re soooo important or busy that you have the right to have someone else’s property damaged?   Yes, of course you do and you don’t care.  B/c (drum roll) you’re a Grade A A-hole without any class. 

Just look at how many people we’re talking about?  Obviously everyone who’s vehicle is damaged doesn’t head out to the web and complain, so if this many people (Seriously, hit Bing or Google and see for yourself) have had their vehicles damaged, imagine what the real number must be.  Think all those insurance claims don’t raise your classless self-important insurance rates (11 million  + hits for this phrase)? Hopefully you’re not stupid and clueless.  All those damaged cars and claims also cost the stores money.  But I’m sure they have a magic bucket to pay for this so they don’t ever end up passing the costs on to everyone else right?

So please, grow up, quit being an inconsiderate prick and return your carts. And if you litter (b/c you probably do), cut it out too.  Just try showing some class for a week. Seriously, it’ll make you feel a lot better, being loathsome is overrated.

[tags]Lazy Shopping Carts, Shopping Cart Damage[/tags]